Yes….. Two weeks ago, I was doing some jogging in my little room and injured my ankles. I can´t really tell how this happened. I remember wearing my sports shoes and making sure to positioning my feet properly, but stil…

After jogging a while, I could feel pain, but didnt care much. Than I couldnt exercise anymore because I ankles started to hurt a lot. After I had my shower, when tried to stand up on my feet, they were hurting so badly. I couldnt believed. Looked like the most stupid thing. How on the earth could I hurt both my legs to bad doing some slow jogg inside my very own room? But I did it.

And, I must say, the feeling is terrible. It limit my moves so much. I have been walking around so slowly, dragging myself around, feeling insecure when I walk on the sreets, having to be extra careful when I have to cross a street. I cant even think about exercise and have now idea about when I will be able to. I cant go out for a walk….

I am taking antiinflamatory tablets, like about 4 tablets a day…. putting ice on the ankles when I can…

Still hurts.

Not much I can do about it.

My Husband has been there for me and giving me all the LOVE and comfort he can. This is vital to me. Thanks to my husband I am not feeling depressed.

I am finishing the tird book of the Twillight series and its so good! A girl who worked as an intern at the court, Natalia, she recommended me these books.  Well, one of the “advantages” of have my ankles injured is that I have been reading more.

And I havent watched much TV lately. I havent turned on the TV (except for yesterday afternoon, to watch “You are What You Eat”.

Its nice not listening to the TV, just being in the peaceful silent.

I MISS my Husband!!!!!!! Cant wait to be in your strong arms again, my darling Cameron. I LOVE you so much! I LOVE you, I ADORE you FOREVER!!!!!

I have some things to write about this weekend.

First of all, since my Friday evening, I have no internet. I called broadband provider service and I heard an automatic message saying that the area where I live is having problems which is causing very low internet speed. They say it should be fixed around 12PM, today (Sunday), which I doubt.
So, when I arrived home from work, last Friday (and ALL I wanted was to get online to “be” with my husband) I got so frustrated – no internet! Of course, Cam did everything he could to sheer me up.
Anyway, my Saturday morning: the internet was working (Yay!) and, as Cam was awake until about his 3AM to watch the rugby game (Australia x South Africa), we stayed together online.
Oh! Forgot to mention: it has been raining a lot and nonstop since Friday evening (and the temperature is now about 18ºC, which is cold for Rio standards).
So, when Cam finished to wacth the game and went to bed, I left to have lunch with my twin aunties (Aurea & Elizabeth) as I always do. And, like always, they comfirmed with me that they were waiting for me to arrive at their place aroun 12:30PM. It was raining so much, but I got the bus and wnet to their place. When I arrived there, auntie Aurea opened the door and I could see she wasnt feeling well. She was having one of her usual painful migranes. She got me to sit on the couch, served me some aubergine and palm heart pastries and Coca Cola Zero. She tried to stay there talking to me, but she had to run to the bathroom to throw up every five minute.
So, I got my purse and came back home.
Later on, in the evening, auntie Aurea called to ask if I could go have lunch (like, really, have a proper lunch at their place next Saturday). But auntie Elizabeth didnt have the courtesy to apologise.
Nevermind.
I´ve got some shocking bad news; I have a distant cousin, called Magali. She has been married to Marco for 28 years and they have two hadsome 20 ´something´years sons. They have been always considered the stereotip of a perfect couple in my family. I remember, even my late mother used to remark how perfect they´ve always been. Yesterday auntie Aurea told me they are separated. He´s got a new girlfriend and decided to kick his wife out of his life. But the worse of all is that, even after 28 years married (plus the time they dated before getting married), Marco had absolutely any consideration for Magali as he was cheating on her for a while until she found out he was having an affair (she saw loving messages on his mobile). What a bastard!! What a loser!!!!
Changing the subject, this morning, I was (still I am) SO upset because of the internet that I woke up my 5AM (so anxious) and started to organize my wardrobe and shelves in my room. Cam called me and made me feel better. Like me husband always do.
Also, he had such a great idea to cheer me up: he called Ben & Karen (our favorite reader;) )
and we had a conference call. It was so much fun! Thank you my darling husband!!!!
So, this morning I went to the chemist and bought nice soaps and shower gels. Then I went to the natural foods shop and bought dried tomatoes and mozzarella croissants which I will have for lunch.
Well…. its almost 12. NO damned internet whatsoever!!!!!! God!!!! I am losing my nerves here!!!

Actually, I have been developing a technic about “how-to-shift-your-mind-away-from-stupid-situations-at-work”, so today, in the middle of a very stupid reunion at work (by the time I should be leaving work to go home) I decided to think about Cam and I walking around the streets and shops at Newmarket (Auckland). I visualized every corner and shop and bookshops and cafes and malls and everything. Is nice to realize I have all the details recorded in my mind. I wish I was there with my husband. Holding hands, feeling happy, relaxed and peaceful.

Now, the “crap” bit: as I wrote before, the fat guy who has to work at the counter, at the current work place where I am working, had got a health leave and stayed away for one whole week. So, as if the situation envolving the counter wasnt bad enough, it got worse. For instance, S, a woman who doesnt know a thing about how to work with files (and still recieves extra salary) was the one who was supposed to work at the counter when the fat guy would go out have lunch. Well, a couple of minutes before the fat guy went to have lunch, she just left the court and went to the bank.

So, I and L decided we would not go to the counter as well…..

Anyway, M, the little crazy blond lady went to the counter.

When the counter was closed, at 5PM, P, the director, decided to have a reunion to tell people who was there at that moment (just a few people) how to work “properly”.

The guy said a bunch of pure shit! I am getting pretty disappointed with him. He has absolutey no idea about how to administrate the court, plus, evidently he protects his old “buddies” who are the ones that dont do anything. They just hang around the court, arrive late, etc….

I think this all will lead to a big faliure. They deserve it.

And I will try to keep my husband and my personal life away from them.

Thats a great thing It have my husband to chat when I come home from work, and Frasier DVs, and this laptop.

So, yesterday we all had to go to the counter and I had a hassle with very rude lawyers. Damn it!!

I dont like people in general. I choose people. So, can you imagine how bad it is for me having to interact with this kind of “creatures” (rude people….)

The stupid internet is falling down all the time! What the hell is happening!???  Like yesterday, my evening, it was so terrible! All I wanted was to stay here resting and relaxing with Cam online with me…. Instead, I had so much hassle. We had hassle because of my broadband.

I tried all the wires and everything, and reseting the router and the modem, and restarting the computer….

To make things worse, there is a fat stupid big butt guy that, besides not doing almost anything, his only task is to be at the counter. What happens is that occasionally (quite often) this big butt person calls work very early and leaves a message with the cleaning lady saying he cant go to work because he has a fever. Well, nobody has as much fever as does (course we all know its not true…). The things is, this fat person just try not to go to work anytime he has a chance. And it is not fair.

I am telling this because yesterday that fat guy called work and told the cleaning lady he had a fever…….. blah blah blah…..

We girls had to go to the counter.

If we didnt have work enough.

Anyway, there is a lot of irritating tings at the place I work (like probably 90% of the work places) and sometimes it maes me very sick and tired.

What a day……. hope it goes fast.

What I am going to do is look at the nice posts with our pictures together and try to concentrate on these very nice things.

I will imagine Cam and I together in New Zealand doing the things we love doing together.

My husband, to think about you, about us, is the only thing that can make me feel better.

I love you, my blue blue eyed husband.

I took loads of tablets and yet my headache lasted for almost 3 days. I feel even depressed.

And I didnt eat any sweets, no alcoohol, I am not taking contraceptive pills anymore. I avoided anything that could have caused the headache. And STILL I had another terrible headache!

My neck feels sore, my showders and even my arms are sore.

I had a good long shower, washed my hair and feel a bit better. So I will go to my aunties place to have lunch.

I am not going to stay there for long though.

I just want to rest and heal.

I feel like bitching about my work place. Now, after almost 10 years working at the Rio´s Federal Justice as a Judicial Analyst, I finally start to realize that the Justice itself is not bad. The government pays good salary, they cant fire you and the Union is always fighting for benefits – like 6 hours work day schedule – (well, thanks to the stupid Presidents and Congressists, we, public servents, lost many benefits, but still we are lucky ) and this month we will have 20% salary raise and also in December we will have another 20% salary raise.

Taxes and social security, plus health assistance plan discount about 30% of my income, but stil…

The guy who is the director of thhis court I am working now (18th Federal Civil Court) is not really a public servant. He is like an outsider that works at the Justice as a director because every judge is allowed to hire anybody they want to be their director and their choffeur (driver). Pedro is kinda nice guy, but still I think that it is not right to hire those outsiders when there a loads of competent people between the pubic servents.

PS: at the other court where I worked (the 23th Federal Civil Court) there was another of those outsiders, who I call “Nazi Poodle”, a completely incompetent bastard!

Well, at the court I work, people are nicer than at the other court and I am alway from the judge (and I am absolutely off her special personal staff). But the thing is, her personal staff is a group of people who came from another court (they used to work with a judge that first was retired for being considered suspect of corruption – and now he is dead) and they all recieve an extra money besides their salaries. They are director, supervisors, assistant…. And its cristal clear that (apart from the director that needs to work because he depends on the judges will to keep his job the judge can fire him anytime she wants – he is the “outsider” I mentioned above), the other guys have kind of an agreement to make the rest of us work while they just walk around, arrive late, leave early and dont do anything. At first, I suppose they thought they could make me work hard for them. I believe they now know its not true, first because I work exactly the number of hours I have to – EXACTLY! And also I told them very clearly that I know I work well and if the judge is not happy with me just doing what I can during the necessary amount of hours I have to work, so I am happy to go work to another judge. Thats all!

And I try to keep in my mind that the problem is not the justice, but just some people and some judges.

The thing is, MOST of the judges are arseholes! I mean, they get approved on the dificult tests to become judge and they become devil insane monsters!

Once I worked for a judge who made me go to Lojas Americanas to buy hoses for her, I had to go shop for hoses many times because she didnt like any I bought and she didnt pay me back. She didnt pay me for the hoses she forced me to buy for her. I even had to sort out her air points!

Crazy bitch!

I worked for another crazy bitch for like 8 years. This one, like all the others, doesnt do any work. the judges just sign the decisions the workers do for them. I was a victim of moral abuse in her hands for 8 years! She is completely neurotic and hipocrit!

Ok…………. Its over, I dont have to work with her nor Nazi Poodle.

Tomorrow Pedro (the director at the court where I work now, he decided that everybody will have to input the location where the filles are kept all into the system so the filles wont get lost. So, he made a division where he and his personal staff group of friends wont have to do anything! Well, I will do the work in the two group of shelves, as he asked me. But I wont stress, I will do what I can, I wont do the other things I should be doing (my actual work), and thats it. 5 PM sharp I will leave work.

Thats all

Such a short time together but I cant complain. Considering the situation, we are so lucky to being able to meet…. We where invited to this wedding and there will be lots of important people from the Justice (where I work) and I believe that being there with Cam might help me to get my work leave. Its worth trying.

Its been a week since I arrived back from NZ and still I feel a bit strange to be here, in Rio.

I feel afraid. I am torturing myself so much.But of course, I am sure that one day things will get into place and we will be finally living together. I will wait as long as its necessary. I will wait.

I am not feeling very happy so I cant write much now.

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Its been a week and a half since I arrived back in Rio and the city doesnt look so strange. But still I have this void inside me because of missing the wonderful time with my husband in New Zealand.