The kind of life that would give me space to focus on my true self and have a better life.

And be happy.

1) Only buy clothes when necessary (I actually have been doing this for a while now).

2) Only buy books and workout DVDs if I REALLY like them and know for sure I will read them and do the workout. BTW: the books and workout DVDs I can download for free dont count

3) Always choose to buy the book for the kindle instead of the regular book. Its instant deliver, cheaper and dont occupy space.

4) Before purchasing a new book or workout DVD, read / do the ones I have first!

5) Only buy the necessary food (way MUCH cheaper and will keep me from binge eating) – like breakfast, lunch, afternoon snack and dinner. PS: yogurt and fruit is a good dinner combination.

6) Organize myself so that I can have two hours per day to workout.

7) Drink water! Its free or, if sparkling, its less than half of the price you pay for sodas… It will be less itens and less weight to carry when doing supermarket shopping. Plus, its the PERFECT drink to flush toxins away of your body.

Buy mosturisers, makeup and toiletries in general at the chemist and buy only whats necessary. Saves a lot of time and money!

9) When I come home from work, always get takeaways to eat at home. This will help me not to buy more stuff to eat at home.

10) Read in the bus / underground and whenever I have a chance.

11) Sit down occasionally and write down on a pice of paper my priorities and what I really want to do with my life.

12) Accept, forgive, forget and let go.

Well.. this is all I can think about for now.

First of all, I just arrived from New Zealand and, as aways, I feel devastated.

Also, there is this situation with my father (health issue) and occasional bullshit telephone calls from stupid relatives….

I managed to go to work today which was really good. I didnt do much, but eat least I was there.

But the thing is, more than the responsability itself, I didnt want to be here, where I live with my father and my brother.

I wanted to go away. After work, I didnt want to come here as well.

Hope this bad feeling will go and never be back.

Now, about the Celebrity Slim program, I will let you know what I had today:

1) breakfast: strawberry shake 90 kCal (did it mush weaker than it should be)

2) lunch: a spoon of rice, spoon of bean, half chicken breast, half spoon raw beats, half spoon raw carrot, broccoli and two slices tomato. Probably around 300 KCal

3) snack: two apples 140 KCal

4) dinner: Low Carb shake 212 KCal

5) snak : two slices light bread 120 KCal

total for today:  862 Kcal (yay!!!)

Congratulations to me!!

You are strong Ana

We are here in Whangarei and its warm and cozy in the lounge.

Missing my husband and everything here so much!

Whangarei grew up on me and now I like it a lot! Feel at home here.

I dont want to go back to Brasil.

Changing subject, this morning I received good news about my father.  He left the intensive unit care at the hospital and is in a regular room.

I am positive that when I get home I will find him there and things should go back to normal.

Its been really hard to me since I got the news about his faint at the supermarket and everything that came along with it.

Great fear of loosing my father and the changes that would follow his loss.

I am soooo grateful that this horrible incident happened after I left Rio so that I could be here with my husband spending these wonderful 12 days with him.

Every time is better.

But, anyway, yesterday I was in real dispair I cant even describe it. I was afraid of what my fathers condition could affect my priorities in life (which are my husband,my work and looking after myself).

Its already hard enough for me being distant from my husband. Feeling depressed specially on Sundays because I feel so lonely.

Its really painful waking up and not feeling motivated to do anything because my husband is not with me. And we must be online with each other to talk and be as together as we can.

I have very few moments of happiness in my life and I felt so afraid of losing everything because of having to be responsible for my father.

I dont want to spend the whole day at the hospital with him. Let alone the nights. No way.

Well, these thoughts made me desperate, super stressed!

I will see what happens and how will I feel when I arrive back in Rio.

I am asking God to help me see things clear so that I will know what to do.

Also there is work.

Nobody tells me what happened exactly but I know there has been some significant changes.

Oh boys…

Hopefully I will have a safe and smooth trip back to Rio.

Wish I could bring my husband with me and we’d live in Ipanema togetherand I would be feeling much better about everything in my life.

I dont want to be alone.

I know that everything that has been happening to me is a sign that I should make some changes in my life. I hope I will be strong enough to do what I need to do. Starting from self-respect.

Having a wonderful resting time. I feel happy. And blessed.

Actually, I am SOOOO lucky to be here.

The thing is, 3 days after I left, my father fainted in a supermarket. This is pretty bad and I am anxious about the situation I will find when I get back to Rio.

As I wirte now, I start to feel better. This blog has some strange power to make me feel safer.  I WANT TO LET IT OUT OF MY CHEST!

I dont want to have my day to day routine affected and I dont want my father to die and I have to go to work. I dont know what I will find at work as well.

I dont want to go to the hospital be with my father. I hate hospitals and I hate being there with him. He watch horrible TV shows (well… they dont have cable channels anyway) and he farts.

Oh, bummer!

At least I am here in New Zealand, in my holidays, away from everything thats happening where I live.

Double bummer!

I can only hope for a miracle.Find things back to normal when I come home so that I will be back to my balance and normal life.

I want to look after myself. I wish I could do Bikram Yoga.I need to exercise. I want to find inner peace. I am the most important person in my life.

Thank God I am in New Zealand with my husband now. I am SOOOOO GRATEFUL to be away from Rio. I am so grateful that this thing with my father happened after I left home.

I read something very good in a magazine at Whangarei Libraries,written by Mariel Hemingway about how we should aways look after ourselves and that its NEVER a selfish attitude. We need it.

So, besides the challenge I will have to face about my father and work, I got myself a GOOD CHALLENGE. My Celebrity Slim Diet

http://www.celebrityslim.com.au  meal replacement plan. I really like it. Its easy to follow and meets my needs perfectly so that whenever I am I will have my meals (soup, shake or bars) with me. Have my snacks (bars, certain fruits or light yogurt).

I was reading a very interesting article about how these meal replacement diets are quite effective.

http://www.ivillage.com/truth-about-meal-replacement/4-a-142445

” Looking for a simple diet plan that fits into your busy schedule? Meal replacements may be the answer you’re looking for! They really can be part of a healthy weight loss program. Get the facts and find the plan that’s best for you.

Meal Replacement Diets vs. Traditional Diets

The March 2001 issue of The Journal of the American Dietetic Association includes a yearlong study of 64 overweight women ages 18-55 who wanted to lose 20 to 40 pounds and maintain the weight loss. The women claimed they couldn’t change their eating habits no matter how hard they tried. Half the women were given a standard 1,200-calorie meal plan that you’ve probably all memorized by now. The other group was told to replace all three daily meals with a liquid shake containing 220 calories, supplemented with fresh fruits and vegetables to total 1,200 calories per day.

What happened? After the first three months, both groups of women lost 3 to 6 pounds of body fat without losing lean muscle mass. But after one year on the program, the women on the meal replacements maintained their weight loss, while the other group regained the lost weight (sound familiar?).

Another study of 100 overweight people (21 males and 79 females, ages 35-55) published in the August 2000 issue of Obesity Research also sheds a favorable light on meal replacements. For the first three months, half the participants followed a 1,200- 1,500-calorie diet, while the other half had two meal replacements per day, plus one balanced meal. At the end of the three months, the traditional dieters had lost 1.7 pounds and the group using meal replacements lost 7 pounds. At this point, both groups were asked to use one meal replacement and one snack replacement each day for the next four years. At the end of the study, the traditional dieters lost an average of 3 pounds, while the meal replacement group lost an average of 8 pounds. It appears that initially losing more weight helped the second group maintain their weight loss for a longer period of time — 8 pounds may not sound like much, but any amount of weight that we can lose and keep off typically translates into improved health. Both groups saw a decrease in blood sugar levels, but only the meal replacement group had lower triglyceride and blood pressure levels.

If you have trouble estimating portion sizes, find yourself eating too often or typically choose foods high in fat and calories, meal replacements may work for you. We all know that losing weight is one thing, but keeping that weight off for one, two or even three years or longer is a completely different story. For people who really have trouble changing their eating habits permanently, using one meal replacement per day may be just the ticket to keep weight from coming back. As an added bonus, reducing body fat typically results in decreased risk of diabetes, high blood pressure, osteoarthritis and heart disease.

But just like other diet plans, meal replacements aren’t for everybody. If you need the taste of real food and prefer to chew rather than drink your meals, you’re probably better off sticking to healthy foods, not meal replacement shakes and bars. A meal of six baby carrots and a turkey sandwich on whole-wheat bread with mustard and dark green lettuce is just as healthy as a 220-calorie meal replacement shake.

Six Ways to Maximize Your Results with Meal Replacements

Use these helpful tips to make meal replacements a successful part of your weight loss and weight maintenance plan:

1. Use a meal replacement for no more than two meals, or one meal and one snack, per day, unless you’re closely supervised by your doctor.

2. Choose meal replacements that contain at least 200 calories. They should also have a balance of carbohydrates, proteins and fats to provide adequate nutrition and decrease between-meal munchies.

3. Use meal replacements at the meals that cause you the most trouble. If breakfast is always a donut on the run, drink a Kashi shake instead. If you routinely skip lunch, or succumb to the fast-food advertisements, grab a Slim-Fast lunch bar. If you can’t find the time to make a healthy dinner, have a Snapple-a-Day.

4. Mix and match so you don’t get bored. You can use two meal replacements on some days and just one on others when you have more time to make healthy meals. Also, try lots of different meal replacement products to keep your taste buds happy. For example, you could have a Slim-Fast shake for breakfast and a bowl of Special K for lunch.

5. Choose fresh fruit for snacks twice a day for added nutrition and fiber. If you’re drinking lots of shakes, you’ll be happy to have something you can chew!

6. Maximize your weight loss by making your traditional meal well balanced. To do so, make your plate look like this: Fill half with vegetables (raw or cooked, your choice), one-quarter with protein (chicken, fish, tofu, legumes, red meat) and the remaining quarter with the starch (pasta, potato, rice, bread).”

I will start the Celebrity Slim diet as soon as I get to Rio and I will be writing a diary about it. I am probably the only Brazilian girl doing it.

Oh God! I am anxious. I want to scream! I wish I could switch my mind off things I dont want to think about!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We don’t know how much money you can spend, but we figure you’re rich, and the exchange rates are good, so what the hang

Day Tour One:

When you arrive, just familiarise yourself with Queen St and the surrounds. If you just take your time, you’ll be fine. You have all day and you’ll always find somewhere to sit and rest for a while.

Walk from the Hotel onto Customs St East and head towards Queen Street. When you hit Queen Street.

When you hit Queen st walk up the left side and all the way until you hit Aotea Square and Borders. Cross the street and walk back down the other side. If you had of kept walking from here up to the top of Queen street, you would have passed lots of Asian restaurants. For now,  cross over to Borders and go back down Queen St to the Downtown Shopping Centre. Have a look in there, if you want to see shops, then go towards the waterfront and onto Quay street. Go into the ferry building and check out prices and times for a ferry ride to Devonport and Waiheke.

I would suggest a trip to Waiheke only if you have transport. Personally, Ana & I recommend going instead across to Devonport. It’s about 15 mins to the other side. There are great cafes and you can walk to the top of Devonport Navel Reserve (Hauraki Gulf Maritime Park). It’s a hike, but a MUST see, because on the other side you’ll see Rangitoto Volcano and the gulf Islands and views of all of Auckland. In Devonport, we like the Stone Oven Bakery. It’s not hard to find. There is also an alleyway opposite the library, close to a secondhand bookstore, where you’ll find a really nice cafe. You’ll know it when you see it as it’s like an old collapsed building in a passageway. We love the smoothies there and the food is good too.

Catch the ferry back and when you come out of the Ferry building, take a right towards the Viaduct basin. Just follow the waterfront onto Princess Wharf and to the end where the Hilton Hotel is. Next to that is the Maritime Museum. There are lots of expensive restaurants at the Viaduct. Go past there and make your way across Victoria Park and Victoria Park Market. As you’re crossing Victoria park, you’ll see a New World (or Countdown) supermarket. That’s the best place to buy food for picnics and for your room.

After seeing Vic Park Market, head uphill, past the supermarket along College Hill Road. It’s a steep climb, but it won’t kill you. When you hit Ponsonby Road, walk along that all the way until you hit K Road. Karangahape ( Ka Rang Ga Happy). As you’re going along Ponsonby Road, keep an eye out for the Little Fairy Shop (left hand side) and the Food court (right hand side). The food court is between Macklevie and Pollen Street. Go upstairs and check it out. Cheap eats, a great variety of choices and clean. Bear this place in mind. One meal and a side of wontons or some such, will do the two of you and you might consider grabbing something form the supermarket for Emily, if she can’t share.

Leave the food court and cross the road and go to Western Park. Check out the sculptures. Maybe walk down there if you have time.

Continue on to K’Road and follow that to Upper Queen St. K’Road is great for eating. Ana & I love The Little Turkish Cafe (left hand side opposite Starbucks). Look for an arcade on the same side as the turkish cafe. At the end of the Arcade is a large set of stairs that takes you down into Myers Park. Walk all the way down under the Mayoral Drive overbridge and on to Aotea Square.

From there cross over and walk up Wellesley St. You can either turn left onto Lorne St, which has shops and things, or continue up to Albert Park.
If you do Lorne st, high st, chancery lane and then towards your hotel.

Day Tour Two:

MOTAT and the Zoo. MOTAT is the Museum of Tranport and Technology. This place is a gem. I’m not sure how you’ll get there, but there must be a bus from the Britomart to Western Springs. It’s not expensive and you’ll spend all day here and at the Zoo. Often they have interactive things for children. Lots of things for boys too

Have lunch in the park. You’ll need a picnic. Western Springs is well worth a walk. Lot’s of friendly duckies. You’re not allowed to feed the ducks. You can either go through the park and direct to the Zoo, or catch the MOTAT tram. We’d suggest the tram. The Zoo is great.

If you aren’t too pooped, continue onto the Airplane Museum. (You’ll have to Google that), but it’s part of one of the ticket options for MOTAT.

Day Tour Three :

Kelly Tarltons – Underwater Aquarium This is on Mission Bay, which winds along the waterfront. You can catch a bus to there and then walk from there along to Saint Helliers. Or better yet, if the weather is good, just walk from your hotel all along Tamaki Drive, which takes you to Kelly Tarltons, then keep walking after that. There is a domain right above Kelly Tarltons. Ask there if there is a walking path and cross that to the other side and down into Mission Bay. Walk until Saint Helliers and have lunch. Catch a bus back into town.

Sky Tower – You’ve got two options for the top. You can pay to see from the viewing platform, or dine. As it’s a one off, I would suggest having lunch or dinner there. You’ll have to book to eat though, so decide quickly. You’ll pay around $70-$80 for the three of you, but that then you won’t have to pay for the view. You can go up to the viewing platform after I believe. It might be worth trying to get a booking just before sunset. When you’re up there, you’ll note that every hill that you see if an extinct (or dormant) volcano.

Day Tour Four:

Leave you Hotel and go down to Beach Road. Turn right and follow that to Parnel Road and up the hill. Parnel is the Posh Street of Auckland. Walk up the hill on the left hand side (it always seems easier) and then cross the road at the ped crossing. Stick to the right hand side after that. Look for the brick pathways where the white colonial style shops are, and go down all the little alley ways you can find. Just keep heading up to the top of the hill.

When you’re past the shops, look for Domain Road on the right hand side (just past a nice bread shop). Go down there into the Auckland domain and head for the lake and the ducks. Walk around Garden Road area and then go up to the Museum. It’s free, but they ask for donations. Emily is NOT a donation.

Auckland Domain & the Museum. It’s a beautiful park and the Museum is one of the best we’ve ever seen for children. Loads of activities and the cafe wasn’t too bad at the entrance. Go to the small lake and the flower garden beside it. Be prepared to spend plenty of time in the Museum. You HAVE to see this. Try and see it all. It shouldn’t be a problem.

When you leave, go along Maunsell Road extension (back of the Museum) and onto Broadway. On the Corner where George street is, you’ll see a Brown Brick Building. Have a quick walk around there and then back along broadway. Broadway will take you onto Kyber Pass Road and Newmarket. Newmarket is Ana’s favourite shopping street. Just for looking. We never buy

The area to look around is between Kypher Pass, Crowhurst, Mortimer, Gillies and Broadway. The side street in that square and the main road.

When you come into Newmarket, you’ll see the traffic lights at Kyber Pass and Broadway. Cross over to the Rialto Centre where the cinemas are and go upstairs to the foodcourt, if you’re hungry.

Walk around the area.

After that, you’ll need to find out how to catch a bus going south towards the Auckland Domain along Manukau Road. I hope the weather is good.
Instead of getting off at Cambell Crescent and Puriri Drive, ask the bus driver to let you off at the Entrance to the Domain which takes you to the Stardome (Observatory – it’s suposed to be really good). That entrance is along Manukau road and just after Lewin Road.

Walk through the park and up to the top of One Tree Hill. Go back down the way you came up and then walk around the park following the tracks. I suggest sticking to the East side (sunny side of the hill, Bollard ave, twin Oaks drive side) onto Cornwall Park area. Emily will love this area because it’s a farm. Lot’s of Sheep.

I’d head back into the city after that. You can catch buses from Manukau Road or The Great South Road back into Broadway (maybe even direct into the Britomart (Downtown Auckland) or Queen St.

I finally feel inspired to write, which is excellent, since I feel very grateful that my husband made this blog for me

First of all, its cold. It has been quite cold for a while here, in Rio. I dont like the stinky hot summer weather, but dont fancy the cold one either. Why cant we have mild weather???

If I had my husband here to warm me up, it would e a zillion times better!

To make things a bit worse, its Sunday evening. I never liked Sunday evenings (unless I am on holidays). Its depressing. And the radio staions keep on playing those discusting Brazilian songs. I HATE Brazilian songs (always knew I dont fit in this stupid country).

By the way, for the ones who cursed me on my Bikram Yoga post: Brazil is a shit country!! And if you dont like it, go read another blog! Or go to hell. Whatever…

You Know, after a long time fulling myself to think I like certain things just because they are healthy, nice, blah, blah, blah…., the truth hit me: I dont like yoga, I dont like raw food, I dont want to be a green, let alone a vegetarian, And I havent been exercising for a while because I am NOT feeling like it. And the only workout I like are the Leslie Sansone ones. I also dont care about cosmetic brands because, at the end of the day, no matter how expensive or cheap, they will cause the same effect on you.

I want to eat pastries , sandwiches, pies , sweets, chocolates  or even salads with fish and steamed vegetables. If I feel like it.

The thing is, all this preasure I have been putting myself into is not taking my anywhere but getting me all stressed and frustrated.

Oh! How much time, money and energy I spent buying unecessary health food, clothes, accessories, DVDs, books, makeup, etc….. Clutter!!!!!! Arghhh!!!!

And, afterwards, feeling the painful void inside me….. because of spending so much time (and energy) trying to be somebody I am NOT.

Why is it so difficult to just let it be!

But I am living and learning. All those years………  I am recovering myself now.

Changing subjects, my beloved husband sent me two most amazing animations: “Tangled” and Rango”. Amazing! Specially Tangled. Its soooooo cute and the story is absolutely delicious to watch. I´ve watched it two times now and I think I can watching again forever!!! Love it so much!

I´ve also download Biggest Loser 9 Season, Breakfast at Tiffany´s, Charade, Roman Holiday (yes, I think Audrey Hepburn is adorable), Mulan, Little Mermaid, Incredibles and Manhattan Murder Mistery (Woddy Allen).

Watching Woddy Allen New York movies makes me remember the wonderful trip I did with my parents and my brother to NYC. Good old times. The 4 of us together. In January it will be 12 years since my Mum died. Why?? Why, God? I dream so much with her in my dreams, I think of her and I miss her so much. A very important piece of my life´s puzzle will be forever missing.

There are so many things I would love to do. For instance, a road trip with my husband. That would be such fun! I love road trips and Cam & I did some really nice in NZ.

I would like to travel with Cam to Disney World.

. I went there once, in 1981, when I was 14 years old and I LOVED it!!!  It was much smaller than what it is today, but I remember how wonderful that place is. I want to go back there again so much!!!!! Hopefuly my dream will come true.

I have more than enough air points for me and Cam get airline tickets, next time Im in Auckland, I will make sure Cam and I go to Lan Chile office to make enquires about the air points. We must use them before they expire!!!

About work: I´ve been through some stress since the counter schedule changed to 9AM to 18PM… Ridiculous! Its a long story and I am not going to write about it now. I am just going to mention that I am sooooo lucky my boss like me. I cant help but wonder that my mother put this lady in my way.

There´s a bitch at work who has been trying to become my “friend”…… yeah, right! I wasnt born yesterday. Like I said, I am very lucky that my boss likes my so much.

Well, enough for now. See you soon, my very dear blog

Its been a while since I wrote my last post.

Time runs so fast and its easy to forget the most important things. Like writing in my wonderful Blog.

It feels so comforting knowing I can open my mind and my heart in this magic space my husband built for us.

Some times I think that long after Cam and I are gone, this Blog will be existing in the infinite cyberspace…..

First, I would like to say that I found out the Yoga is NOT for me. I am quite sure about it. never tried Bikram Yoga though. Maybe I would enjoy the practice since its all repetitions and everybody in class will do the same asanas altogether and there is no needing to memorise the poses.

Another low point about yoga was that it took my about 15/20 minutes to get there walking so I had to wake up before 6AM, dress up quickly, have my breakfast and make the bed in a hurry.  But the LOWER point was the fact that I had to leave my husband online and go to class. ARGHHHHHH! I hated it!

Also, I never felt like I had a good exercise, that I burnt calories, never felt the stamina and endorfine runing through my blood like I feel and I do my power walking.

I cant believe I was so fascinated with yoga and now I know its boring and so not for me. My workout is my Walk Away the Pounds. Thats what I love to do and I can do whenever I want in my little room. Today I did 13 miles. How many kilometers is that? (let me check on Google…)

13 miles = 20.921472  Not bad! Almost 21 kilometers!!! yayy!!!

I believe that, without my power walking my life would be quite hard on me. Power Walking saves me every day.

The only time I dont need it is when I am together with Cam. For many reasons. First, because he loves me and holds my hand and my emotional get balanced and fulfiled. And plus we walk together quite a lot!

I have been downloading and also purchasing  books to my Kindle and they are about sports and its power. Like Dean Karnazes says: “If everything fails, run!”

Im going to suggest a couple of books :

Run Like a Girl – How Strong Women Make Happy Lives

Mile Markers – The Most Important Reasons Why Women Run

Complete Book of Women’s Running

Run Like a Mother. This one also has a very nice Blog

Be Iron Fit

All these books are soooo motivating and a very good read. I like when the authors go on about how to organize your daily routine and no matter how busy you are, there is aways time to train if you want it!

Well, I WANT IT!

Changing subjects, its less than one month for me to be back in New Zealand again. I love being there. Every time I am there I love it more. My place in the heart. My husband’s country. Hope one day life will get easier and Cam and I can live there together (and God, please, no more earthquakes, please!!!).

I have been daydreaming about all the things Cam and I love doing together in Auckland, Whangarei, the Little House, the drivings up North (Kerikeri), etc… Everytime I go there I thank God. How blessed am I!!!

I miss everything there so much. Its in my heart and soul. I really hope Cam and I, one day, we will be living together in NZ.

Cam and I have a very nice friend and her name is Amber (nickname: Snoopy Doggy Dog). She is a cute little kitty cat! The neighbour’s cat

Changing subjects again: I went to my aunties place today for lunch (like every Saturday) and they started talking about their will. Thats when I took the opportunity to let some truth out of my throat. Feels good to tell the truth. I am not going to write the details of our conversation because its too personal. But it was good, despite the things we disagree. I guess I opened their a bit to see that the world is so much more than those brats (my cousins brats). Tomorrow I will go there again and say goodbye before they catch the plane to Paris, next Friday.

My dear Father is still waiting for the authorization from his health plan so that the doctor can schedule the surgery to remove his skin cancer.

Last comment: I am sick and tired of shitty people and shitty attitudes at work. Plus, the Supreme Court decided we, the stupid slaves workers have to have the counter open so that the lawyers go there. SHIT! No more comments about that terrible situation.

Thats it.